Sunday, January 9, 2011

Theo Walcott does Tom Daley

We require little encouragement to have a dig at everyone's favourite Frenchman Arsene Wenger on this blog so we note with not small delight that Theo Walcott took a self confessed swan dive yesterday to win a penalty against the dirty Leeds. Now fortunately for Arsene, the King of fairplay - who was no doubt fiddling with (stop your dirty minds there please) his shoelaces and missed the incident - the penalty was not given. It is incredibly noble of young Theo to own up to his misdemeanour you might think but he would have known full well that having dived and the linesman having been able to spot it then the television cameras would have surely done the same and he would have been banged to rights regardless. Had it been awarded I am also quite sure he would have asked Senor Fabregas to stick the spot kick over the bar.

As mentioned at the start of this piece, the main objective of this blog was to point ridicule at Arsene Wenger. He would have you believe that his players are so saintly that they would eschew a Christmas night out on the town so that they could put on a Nativity play for their mothers instead (at least in the case of Arshavin they have a player of the correct proportions to play the baby Jesus).  Taking all this into account, this blog has no doubt that the White Knight of World Football and self appointed High Protector of Fairplay will dish out the maximum fine available of two weeks wages (equivalent to Sierra Leone's sovereign debt) to Mr Walcott to ensure his lesson has been properly learned. We shan't be holding our breath. No Nonsense.